


The Ties that Bind Us

by Caitlin_WithanI



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Falling In Love, Forgiveness, Grief/Mourning, Love Confessions, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:40:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22159498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caitlin_WithanI/pseuds/Caitlin_WithanI
Summary: Sam leaves, and Heartman doesn't even get to say goodbye. Until he does.
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges/Heartman
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be honest I ship pretty much everyone, they would all work so well. But I feel like there was a distinct lack of Heartman when Sam leaves and I think he deserves better. Hope you enjoy xx

It had been a few weeks since he had last laid eyes on the man. Deadman had come to see him straight after Sam had left, his face drawn and reluctant to make eye contact. He understood, of course, he did, with little Lou on the verge of death Sam had just gone. He never even got to say goodbye, to either of them. He just waited for the countdown to finish, and for the sweet embrace of death to take him back on his personal quest. 

Naturally, after so much time spent searching, it was now that he opened his eyes to see his beautiful wife and his own little girl. He expected relief, excitement but all he felt was bone-deep tiredness. Grief and guilt in the face of his loved ones. He crumbled into his wife’s embrace, holding on for dear life. It felt like coming home, being soothed and held again. 

‘Something’s changed you.’ He can hear her smile, but it stokes the shame in him, at what has changed.

‘I’ve searched for so long, to find you both.’ He looked down at his daughter, playing so innocently in the sand. She looked up and smiled at him, drawing a love heart in the sand for him. 

‘My love,’ she drew his face up, looking eye to eye, ‘It’s not your time yet. There’s still a life for you to live before we meet again.’ He shook his head, tightening his hold on her.

‘No, no I’m here to stay, with you both. I’ve searched so that we can be together, here, on the beach.’ All this work, never to say goodbye to him. Life was just determined not to give him closure in anything.

‘You have too much heart in you,’ she took a step back, smiling at him as she caressed his face, ‘and we will meet again here when the time is right. But for now, you should find him, love him. Live your life.’ His daughter gripped at his legs, hugging tightly.

‘Love you, papa.’ He crouched down, folding her into his arms.

‘I love you too, my little heart.’ He kissed the top of her head, squeezing her tight before releasing her back to her mother. ‘I can’t just move on I can’t do that to you.’

‘You can, you will because I’ll kick your butt back there myself if I have to.’ She laughed at his pained expression, ‘You need him, and he needs you so just give it a go.’

‘I love you both so much, I’m sorry I wasn’t there when the voidout happened. When you… died. I should have been there, gone with you.’ She shook her head gently.

‘You are forgiven for everything, but you don’t need to be sorry. We want you to live now like you should have been doing all along.’ They waved at him and before he could respond the defibrillator began shocking him back to life.

Deadman was where he’d left him, sat staring despondently looking at the wall. The man barely seemed to notice Heartman wake up, just a small twitch of his head betraying him. Heartman for his part just lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling thinking about what his wife had said, what she had meant. She wanted him to live, and to pursue happiness. To pursue Sam. When Deadman loomed over him, he finally kicked into action. It was only a makeshift suite, but all the computer stuff was linked together with his software back home, so he sat down to reprogram his defibrillator. He could sense Deadman hovering, the concern wafting off him, but he was ignored in favour of getting the task done before the next cycle started. With a very final click of the keyboard he waited and waited but the alarm was quiet. He waited a moment longer, but the defibrillator just hummed quietly.

‘Heartman? You’re defibrillator? Are you okay?’ He felt Deadman’s hand resting on his shoulder and could imagine the surprise on his face when he started laughing. Hysterical giggles erupting from him which quickly turned into ugly sobs. Deadman turned his chair, pulling him into a tight hug as he shook almost violently. He had never given himself this, the time to grieve and process and feel. But now, with their permission, he could cry till he felt numb and begin to live with it all. 

It felt like hours before his breathing calmed and the crying stopped. He shifted back to look at his friend, the man just smiled comfortingly, running his hands slowly up and down his arms. ‘I found them,’ it came out like a broken whisper, his voice rough from crying, ‘I found them, and they sent me back here. They told me not to stay Deadman.’

‘They want you to be happy, to live your life, can you blame them?’ Deadman looked at him intently, it made Heartman sigh and shake his head.

‘I know you’re right, but I spent all that time searching that now I don’t know what to do with myself.’

‘We’ll find you something, Heartman. It’ll be hard but we’ll figure it.’ They sat for a moment, Deadman giving him time to think. All he could think of was who was gone and most likely never coming back.

‘He’s gone for good, isn’t he?’ He hated how small his voice sounded.

‘It would seem so. Fragile spoke to him last but I think we can assume he denied her request.’

‘I think I love him, Deadman.’ He saw the surprise on his friends face, let out a dark chuckle, ‘Ironic, is it not? I spend so much of my time on the beach searching for them, and once I finally do, they tell me to live and love. But when I wake up, he’s gone and there is no living and loving left for me…’

‘Don’t say that we might see him again,’ Deadman stood, towering over him, ‘We are bound together now, because of Sam, he might yet need us.’ Heartman couldn’t stop himself from scoffing. 

They were drawn out of their conversation by a beep on Deadman’s cuff, a summons no doubt. Deadman hovered, looking between his cuff and Heartman. He shook his head at him, shooing him with his hands, and Deadman reluctantly left. 

He looked down at his AED, listening to its quiet hum. ‘These are the ties that bind us.’ He rubbed at his chest, before moving on to his work.


	2. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam comes back.

You can imagine Heartman’s surprise when, months later and many cry sessions with the gang, Sam strolled into his lab as if he’d never left. Heartman was so surprised that he just gaped at the man, hand extended halfway towards a shelf with a book held aloft. He could only imagine how he looked to the other man, eyes wide and mouth gaping like a fish.

Sam just stood at the top of the stairs looking down at him, though he noticed that Sam only looked at him, eyes never really moving on. He cleared his throat awkwardly and that seemed to kick start Heartman. He broke their eye contact, looking down at the book still in his hand as he placed it on the desk, giving himself a moment to centre himself before looking at his friend. When he turned Sam had moved down the steps but not much closer, and Heartman noticed he had his hands tucked behind him and that’s when Heartman heard the quiet little babbles. Sam carefully shrugged his backpack off to show the little baby strapped in, hands raised making a grabbing motion towards Sam. It was Lou, he realised. 

‘It’s good to see you Sam, as well as little Lou. I wasn’t aware… I mean Deadman mentioned something and yet here you both are.’ He spoke as Sam pulled the girl into his arms and stepped towards him. He wanted to reach out and touch both of them, draw them into a tight hug, but he didn’t. 

‘She was dying, but I gave it a shot and she was fine.’ A man of many words still, Sam seemed to shrug off his own words. It made him smile.

‘It?’ He gave the man a chance to answer, giving him the time he needed to speak.

‘Taking her out the pod.’ Heartman could feel his face show his surprise but didn’t say anything. It made a lot of sense now that he thought about it. ‘I’m sorry, that it took so long, me coming back.’ Heartman wanted to assure him it was fine, that he could take all the time he needed, and he was going to say it but that wasn’t what came out, ‘I must admit I didn’t think you would come back Sam.’ He cringed internally, damning himself, afraid that Sam would withdraw again.

‘I was always gonna come back man, not to Bridges but to you and the guys.’ Heartman hated how his hope built a little at that, how it ignored the inclusion of their friends. ‘How long until you’re next you know?’

Heartman looked at him surprised, ‘I don’t do that anymore Sam, I stopped the day you left actually.’ He assumed Sam would be able to tell something had changed, considering that all the padding was now replaced with sleek hardwood and the medical bed gone. Then again, the other man hadn’t seemed to look anywhere other than at Heartman.

‘Stopped? Does that mean you found them?’ Sam had such an expressive face, Heartman just wanted to reach out and touch it. He nodded instead. ‘But I thought your plan was to find them then join them.’ He heard the hesitation when Sam talked about him dying, hoped he wasn’t reading too much into it.

‘I had too much to live for, they told me they would be very unhappy if I didn’t live my life.’ This is it, he thought, tell him how you feel. Just when he opened his mouth to speak, Lou started crying loudly. Sam sighed holding her up so he could glare at her, that’s when he noticed how tired Sam seemed, no doubt because of baby Lou. He stepped closer, holding his hand out expectantly. ‘Go sleep and I’ll watch her. 

Sam looked like he was going to say no but was interrupted by a huge yawn, so he nodded in acquiescence and walked up to the door Heartman pointed too. Heartman just bounced Lou gently as he walked up to the window, missing the way Sam stops at the door and looks back before he steps past the threshold.

It’s dark when Sam re-emerges from the bedroom, hair tousled and looking the most relaxed Heartman had ever seen him. Heartman was sat in the middle of the room on a plush blanket with Lou giggling and crawling about. Sam padded quietly towards them, standing just behind Heartman, who wished he would reach out and touch his hair. Maybe now would be the best time, he mused. Sam sat cross-legged beside him, reaching down to tickle Lou. Heartman felt more like his name shout be ‘Hearteyes’ with how he was looking at the other man. He was so at ease with Lou, which reminded him that Sam had almost been a father before, that fatherhood wasn’t entirely foreign to him. 

‘Her name is Louise,’ Sam mumbled, voice still deep from sleep, ‘she almost died, I almost let her. Didn’t want to let her die without at least trying, regardless of what Bridges fucking thought.’ He spoke quietly, but Heartman could tell that he was the first person Sam had told this too, likely the first he’d seen.

‘Where did you go, after?’ Heartman had spent a lot of time fretting over where Sam might have gone, if he was dead in a ditch somewhere and if he’d even know if he was. They were quiet for a few moments, enjoying the company. 

‘Higgs’ had a shelter, I’d been delivering pizza and after we fought and Fragile left him on the beach I went back, and he’d left it open. Needed cleaned out but it was safe, and it was the only place I could think to go.’ The mention of Higgs had made him tense but the knowledge that Sam had been safe all this time, not even Higgs would have been able to show up and hurt either of them. 

‘I just needed some time to think, to start again.’ Heartman understood, he’d needed the time as well. He reached out slowly, patting his shoulder gently, he was surprised to see that Sam didn’t flinch or bat an eye at the contact. 

‘Well, I for one am certainly very glad you were both safe.’ Sam turned slightly to smile at him and Heartman felt his heart skip a beat. ‘Look, Sam, there’s something I need to tell you.’ He took a deep breath and waited for Sam to turn fully towards him. 

‘My wife seemed to be a lot more aware of certain things in my life then I was, and when I saw her, she was quite unhappy with a number of things I was doing. She said that I should live my life to the fullest extent, including moving on. When I woke up and Deadman was there, I thought I was never going to see you again, I thought I was never going to live again. Sam, What I am trying to say is…’

‘Don’t,’ Sam cut in, quite thoroughly crushing all the hope Heartman had, ‘don’t say that just cuz it’s what your wife wanted for you.’ Sam wasn’t looking at him, he looked so small and uncertain. 

‘I’m not Sam, I’m saying it because I do, because I want you to know it and I want to show it.’ Sam was shaking now, ‘If you don’t feel the same, I’ll leave it and we don’t have to say any more about it.’ Heartman could feel his heartbreak a little, wishing he’d never said anything. He moved to get up and give Sam space when a hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

‘You really mean it? I’m not something you’ll regret, keeping you from your wife and daughter? I don’t want to replace them.’ His hand tightened, eyes pleading, for what Heartman wasn’t entirely sure. 

‘I love you, Sam. Not because you replace what I’ve lost or because I was told to. I love you because you’re uniquely amazing, you hold so much love inside you, for the people to care about, and you care about so many people. You’re intelligent and quick and you deserved to be worshipped.’ 

He gave Sam the time to absorb what he said, hoping he hadn’t ruined anything. He moved his attention to Lou who was looking at them like she knew exactly what they were talking about yet was also trying to eat her foot. She reminded him so much of Sam, even though they weren’t biologically related. He loved her so much as well. 

When he felt Sam’s hand nudge at his on the blanket, he looked up, but he was blown away when Sam leaned forward quickly kissing him before moving back and looking at him uncertainly. He was gaping like a fish again. He pulled himself together and leaned in slower, kissing him softly enjoying the shudder and whimper from Sam. 

‘I love you too.’ There was a hidden depth to Sam’s confession and Heartman just pulled him in close and hugged him, both laughing when Lou let out a very happy squeal and giggles. 

‘Please stay.’ Sam buried his head into Heartman’s chest.

‘Forever.’


End file.
